jesus christ, I’m 26

By Mary Stathos

jesus christ, i’m twenty six

i feel like i’ve started my life over a hundred times

this is supposed to be an age of inbetweens but it feels like a lot of nothing 

on my birthday all my friends came over and i accidentally spit $6 champagne on everyone

not everyone in your life is going to support you

sometimes i forget how much my cats love me

i have six dirty mugs on my bookshelf that have been there so long that they’re part of the decor and when i picked them up to wash them i put them back because then it looked too empty

sleeping as a form of self harm

my cats emptied out my bookshelves (again)

i’m kind of going through a lot right now, would you mind not asking me to do my homework 

pay attention to me

my tinder bio says “i’ll definitely cry by the third date” and all of the responses are either “why are you so sad” or “i can make you cry on the first date if you want”

except one guy asked if he could bake me a nice loaf of bread — i think about him a lot

my phone voice is a maladaptive coping skill

if i wasn’t so sad all the time people wouldn’t leave me

maybe bread man is my soulmate 

songs i hear from the gas station outside my window 
– i wanna rock and roll all night
– sweet child of mine 
– schools out for the summer 
– i’m the one yeah 
– s&m by rihanna 
– she’ll be comin round the mountain when she comes instrumental (on repeat)
– unknown AC/DC song
– feels like the first time
– girlfriend – avril lavigne 
– a chorus of men singing don’t stop believing
– mariachi band
– bagpipes (might be for a funeral)

i texted my old friend that i miss him and he didn’t even have my number saved

i don’t think that people who go to bars all the time are living a better life than me anymore

i think my cats think chairs are scratching posts we all can sit on

if everyone should be in therapy does that mean no one should?

i don’t think i could date someone who didn’t listen to pop punk

everyone i’m in school with has it more together than me and a lot of the time i think they wonder why i’m there 

i have a headache


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